Team player...

I am positive that I am not alone in this.

Just a few days ago, Michael and I were having a "discussion".
The topic is of little consequence.
I was sharing my frustrations and he was sharing his.
Tears were shed.
There were many "I just don't understand..." and "it doesn't make sense".
I would say something and he would come back with a defense.
I found myself asking; "Why do you feel like you have to defend this situation? I'm not upset with YOU."
He replied...It feels that way.

This was a situation that both of us felt like we had very little control over.
We had both been "investing" in it.
Neither of us were seeing the "fruit" we had hoped for.

I immediately started thinking...why do I do this?
I remind him all of the time that we are a "team".
We are on the same side.
Yet, when we or our children hit "bumps" or we get scared or worried...it's as if we turn on each other. It is ANYTHING but intentional. We would actually deny that we are...unless we look at it from the other's perspective.

While I feel certain that every married couple knows exactly what I'm talking about...if they have a child with special needs...magnify that by one thousand! If the "typical" married couple must invest in their marriage, how much more so do the parents of "exceptional" children?
Now I will say, there is something to be said of laying in the "trenches" together...fighting and advocating for your child's life. However, there is trauma that comes along with that...it has to be dealt with and worked through.

As if we have all gone into war and fought a battle...possibly losing the lives of friends along the way. We absolutely need each other.

My prayer is for grace.
In friendships and in marriage.

Continue to fight the good fight friends and remember...we are all on the same team!

greener...

"The grass is greener on the other side"

The fall of man.

We all struggle with discontentedness.

In some form...we do.

Whether it is looking at your neighbors house or car.

Feeling like they have the "perfect" marriage or job.

Knowing if you were just their size or had their hair color.

Even the "unselfish" discontentedness.

If only my child could...*fill in the blank*

I wish our church or community would or could x, y, or z.

It can be anything...it can wear many masks.

Following my journey to Africa...my heart became much more content.

Content with my life. *not in my desire to serve Him*

I "need" much less...than I had once thought.

Over the past year...I have battled with that familiar friend again.

How quickly we forget what we know to be true.

It came "masked" in a family passionate about Africa.

They share a child with special needs.

Also chosen to adopt.

I have found myself feeling like their grass has to be greener than mine.

Inspiring...is a lovely thing.

I went beyond inspired and became...jealous.

I wanted their life.

You know...the life that we get to see, from the outside looking in.

Their marriage...that life...has been fractured by infidelity.

Hearts are broken.

Lives are hanging in the balance.

The foundation has been shaken.

Not one of us is "safe" from it.

I am reminded...in a painful way.

That grass...is not greener.

My heart tells me...don't waste your life admiring their grass...nurture your own.

*discontentedness: a longing for something better than the present situation*